I can’t honestly form into words the longing and how much I miss Hawaii. I just want someone to take me back there right now so I can breathe in their amazing and chill atmosphere again.

I’m going through a survey I conducted about cyber bullying against girls and it’s upsetting to see the mindset some people have.

MY HEAD IS CRYING. NO MORE VISUAL ESSAY WRITING EVER, PLEASE.

Whenever someones asks me what I was doing or what the noises that came from what I was doing were, I like to smile at them as if it’s a secret I’ll never tell (You know you love me. XOXO Gossip Girl). But then I end up telling them because I don’t know why. One day, I’m just gonna smile at someone and keep on keeping.

I think I’m coming down with something again. Ugh, being sick is not fun. Got sick in NY and Florida, came home sick. Took weeks to get over that cough. Then a few weeks later, I became sick from god knows what. Body ached one day and it was that plus a fucking pounding head the next. Got better last week. And now I’m coming down with the same thing, I think.

SOMEONE TAKE ME AWAY ON A PERMANENT HOLIDAY. SO SICK OF UNI ALREADY. CAN I JUST LEAVE AND GO WORK OR SOMETHING?

I feel like I won’t be able to accomplish anything because I’m too lazy. Nothing interests me long enough for me to complete it. And if I do, I’m not very happy with it.

One of my lecturers said that this year was the time to get passionate about design and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get that. I see how good other people are and how so into design they are and I get so jealous and upset that I’m not like that.

It’s so rude when people lash out at other people who meant no harm and their excuse is that “they have their own shit to deal with right now”. Like, that gives you an excuse to tell someone off for something so small and trivial. Don’t make someone feel like shit because you do.

My mum should just straight up tell me that she’s hates that I’m studying something in the creative arts area instead of saying to me “You should have gone into IT like your brother.” or “Why don’t you do something like your uncle?”

There’s a reason I didn’t go into their fields. Clearly, I enjoy being creative and it’s fucking infuriating when my own my mum doesn’t support what I want to do.

You know  that saying where you should be careful with who you share you feelings with because some are just curious and don’t actually care? I sorta feel like I’m in the kind of position right now. I’m being careful about what I’m saying because people talk and I think she may be one of those people.

It’s only the middle of the 3rd week of college/uni and I want holidays. The 4 month holiday made me forget about stressing. Since the starting up again, We’ve received all the briefs for this whole semester and I am actually freaking out. I mean, I know a lot isn’t due for till the end of the semester but dear lord, does being bombarded freak you out. I’m trying to write everything I need to do, down and then knocking them off one by one. Trial and error but hopefully it works!

In other news, my life is still uninteresting, lmao.

I can’t seem to get out of my head that I’m going do incredibly horrible this year in college. I know I should be taking it one day at a time but I can just feel everyday how terrible I will do and how maybe this isn’t the career path I should have chosen. I barely scraped through and survived last semester. Maybe this semester will be the same but who knows. We’ll just have to wait and see.